Sadie Gustafson-Zook - Sin of Certainty (2022)

Sin of Certainty is an album that I unconsciously and very consciously worked on between the years of 2017 and 2021, which feels like an extremely large span of time given that it’s only 4 years. It felt so long because these were my early/mid-‘20s, and self-realization has been the thread connecting my days.

When I was a freshman at Goshen College in 2013, I took a class called “Transforming Conflict and Violence” with Carolyn Schrock-Shenk (rest in peace), who introduced me to the concept of “the grace of uncertainty,” which really resonated with me.

To explain this concept, I’ll quote Carolyn directly; this excerpt is taken from the Foreword of “Stumbling Toward A Genuine Conversation on Homosexuality”:

”Holding one’s truth somewhat lightly is another mark of dialogue. I have a friend who introduced me to the “grace of uncertainty” concept, and I have come to believe that this grace is critical to true dialogue. I often tell my conflict studies students that one of the first casualties of escalated conflict is uncertainty—meaning that as the tension rises, people tend to become more certain that their particular view of truth is the right one. Listening, I tell my students, is the next casualty; for what is the purpose of listening if I am already completely certain I am right?”

- Carolyn Schrock-Shenk,
from “Stumbling Toward A Genuine Conversation on Homosexuality”

As I have been stumbling my way through my ‘20s, the idea of the grace of uncertainty has emerged as somewhat of a mantra to me. Not only in an academic discourse sense, but in a personal self-realization sense; holding my own truth lightly enough that I can consider other truths for myself as my life winds in different directions.

I have appreciated the flip of the phrase into the Sin of Certainty, mostly because it’s more sexy (lol) and I wanted to speak to certainty’s underside, which comes out with a vengeance. So far, my ‘20s have been more “Sin of Certainty” than “Grace of Uncertainty”. I guess hopefully as I age I can become more graceful and less certain :)

In sharing this music with you, I hope that you can resonate, going easy on yourself during times of transition, easing into identity confusion, and feeling loved by lovers & community. Being uncertain is okay because newness and growth is okay. We got this.